Last updated on December 8, 2022
(Spoiler warning: contains minor spoilers for the first few episodes of The Lord of The Rings: The Rings of Power, on Amazon Prime)
Galadriel, you may be the Elf Commander of the Northern Armies, the Warrior of the Wastelands, and the Lady of the woods of Lothlórien, but I am a human woman and, therefore, in a unique position to teach you something (perhaps the only thing) mortal women know better than Elven women: gaslighting.
What is this gaslighting I speak of? No, it’s not a light for dark places when all other lights go out.
Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of someone for the purpose of making them call into question their own sanity—something human men have done to women in my world for millennia. Ever hear of Cassandra? (Oh, wait, never mind, wrong mythology. But you would like her).
Back to your world. I fear your pals Elrond and King Gil-Galad have been hanging around the men of Middle-Earth and absorbing some of their least savory characteristics. You say they don’t deign to the company of mortal men? I counter, where else could they have learned the soul-destroying machinations of gaslighting? The dwarves? I think not. Have you ever seen a dwarven woman put up with a word of male nonsense? I rest my case.
You still doubt me, I see. Let me ask you this. After your soldiers mutinied against you and you returned to Lindon, what did King Gil-Gilad do? Did he listen to your explanation of your findings of the ongoing evil in Middle-Earth? Or provide you any sort of support to continue your mission? Not to mention, reprimand your soldiers for questioning your lifetime of expertise (and by lifetime, of course, I mean eons) and disobeying your orders?
No. Gil-Gilad dismissed your concerns and your evidence. He ignored your lived experience and told you the war was over, despite your firsthand proof to the contrary. You, the Commander of the Northern Armies. He literally tried to ship you off.
“You’ve been working so hard, Galadriel,” he said. “Take a vacation. Don’t worry your pretty little head about any of this. Go to Valinor. Have some ‘you’ time. You deserve it.” (I paraphrase, of course).
But we all know what he really meant was, “We don’t need your relentless pursuit of the truth and your inconvenient questions which make me look bad, and really, you’re costing us so much in terms of resources, can’t you just look the other way and pretend it’s all good?”
And your friend, Elrond, what did he do? Did he step up to have your back? No. He, in his youthful folly, presumed to know what was best for you (even if he knew it wasn’t exactly the truth) and supported Gil-Galad. This is an essential component of human gaslighting. The group (those in power, often men) conspires against the individual (usually someone questioning the power structure, often a woman).
At this point, you weren’t sure what was happening. I saw your confusion. Your frustration that you weren’t being heard. Why was no one listening to you? You’re the Commander of the Northern Armies. Why were they ignoring the evidence you brought to them?
When they manipulated you to step onto that boat to Valinor, you wondered if you were going crazy, right? A-ha! That’s gaslighting.
Thankfully for the rest of Middle-Earth, you knew to trust yourself best and dove into the icy waters of truth just in time.
It will be cold comfort indeed when I tell you that shortly after his failed attempt to ship you off, King Gil-Gilad discovered the rot in the trees of Lindor is still spreading. Imagine that. Getting rid of the pesky female messenger didn’t eliminate the deep-rooted disaster of which you were only trying to warn him.
But any woman could have told him that.
Ask Cassandra.
Originally published 12/06/2022 on the Women In Medicine Blog
Also published on Medium