Last updated on June 16, 2019
Guest post by Leah Walsh
In this guest post, author Leah Walsh explains what it means if you are one of the 20% of the human population to have a personality trait now established as “highly sensitive”, and how that might affect you if you work in a caregiving profession. Be sure to read through to her helpful resources at the end.
I’m not a doctor. I never have been and probably never will carry this revered title.
However, I’ve spent over a decade of my professional life in caregiving roles. The unexpected challenges I found in those first few jobs changed the trajectory of my personal and professional life. They are lessons and conversations I don’t hear talked about.
May they benefit you.
Waking up to my sensitive nature
My first full-time job after college was in a rural town off the road system in Southwest Alaska. I walked two sidewalk-less blocks from my small periwinkle A-frame to Tundra Women’s Coalition (TWC). At TWC, I served as a Program Manager and Advocate for those navigating the acute trauma of sexual abuse and domestic violence.
But, two years into the role, I burned out.
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I am a devoted employee and hard worker. I could feel the impact my work had on my client’s lives and gender justice was a cause I wholeheartedly believed in.
Yet, I can still recall the day I was at the AC grocery store and another shopper’s phone rang with the same ringtone as the advocate on-call phone. My heart went from resting to racing and I panicked. The overwhelm was undoubtedly becoming a problem.
Why didn’t my co-workers seem to be struggling with the clunky systems and extreme energetic overwhelm to the same degree that I was?
Over a year into my role there, a much-needed training on vicarious trauma helped our staff find the right questions to uncover that several of us were struggling to anchor a personal and professional sense of wellbeing; however, it took each of us our own time to discern how we needed to respond.
The awareness in that year felt like waking up to something important…but there didn’t seem to be any good options to choose from.
My most important learning from this incredibly difficult and confusing time was how sensitive I am to the energy of other people and the spaces I spend my days.
Waking up to the truth
I want to summarize two key learnings with you as I moved through this time. Even with all the wellness and resilience programs that are offered to support caregiving professionals, I don’t hear enough about the trait of high sensitivity and how it impacts those in service roles.
This is especially important because a high percentage of people with this trait are naturally drawn to jobs as doctors, nurses, counselors, coaches, therapists, advocates, and other caregiving professions since we are naturally wired for empathy and being “tuned in” to others.
Being a sponge
Research now proves that approximately 20% of the population has a more sensitive nervous system. This 20% can self-identify as being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), a term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron in 1996 based on her in-depth research on the subject.
Someone who is highly sensitive is also referred to as being an empath. The trait is described as being “like a sponge” since we are so tuned into everything that is happening around us to the degree that some people feel in their own body the emotions or physical sensations of others.
We are known to easily “read the room” and intuitively know how best to care for each person individually.
My learning:
Over time, I’ve had to accept that I hit stress and overwhelm before others and needed to not compare or judge myself for this.
It’s also been very empowering (and important) to understand how I experience my sensitivities in my own body.
For example, over the years of watching my experiences, I’ve learned that I literally feel people’s emotions and feelings in my own body. I also hear insights through my auditory channels and have learned to trust what guidance I receive.
This awareness was essential for me to honor my gifts and know the best ways for me to bring my system down from states of overarousal.
For example, if I’ve had a lot of overstimulation via sound/hearing, I give myself complete permission to not listen to the news, music or even engage in conversations over the phone. I often choose to spend some time walking in nature so I can take in the soothing sounds to reset my auditory channels.
Internal and external stimulation
Given our sensitive nature, put us in a busy or fast-paced environment, and it doesn’t take much to move us past our ideal level of arousal and into overwhelm.
The stimulus for arousal can come in two different forms. There is internal stimulation (i.e.: thinking about fear, worry, creative idea, or your schedule) and external stimulation (i.e.: loud/repetitive noises, bright lights, people, events around you, the feelings of others).
These dynamics take specific shapes based on the culture of your workspaces. For example, if you are working with people who are sick, grieving or in acute trauma, then the context of the internal and external stimulation will also be textured with the typical thoughts and feelings of the people you work with and serve.
My learning:
One tool that became essential for my wellbeing was to do a body check-in as often as I could remember.
I was always working so hard that I often didn’t know what was true for me outside of what my clients needed.
It became a game. How often can I stay tuned-in to me while moving through my day? I would do a body check in every time I used the bathroom, sat down for a meal, opened a door, or came home from work.
This was the beginning of me being able to notice what overwhelmed me the most, when my heart felt open or closed, when I was actually carrying around the grief/experiences of someone else that I could let go of, etc.
The body check-ins started my own inner revolution! They also helped me choose what new boundaries, action, or new decisions I needed to make to advocate on behalf of my wellbeing.
It was difficult to make space for all of this when I already felt under-compensated at work (mostly in emotional resources, an affirmation of my experience, and the lack of accessible resilience-building skills). Our workload never slowed down. But I also felt a deep curiosity about my experience and my gifts that kept me going as I moved towards making some big next steps.
Hard choices & the diamond in the rough
No one grew up telling me that being sensitive was a good thing. Nobody. For most of my life, I wished away the parts that felt so tender, while relishing in the ways that this trait also allowed me to be good, if not exceptional, at many roles I held.
After some time, I had to confront that I could not change the truth of my body. If I felt a certain way, it was my truth. I could hide it, bury it, numb it, plow through it…but nothing brought true relief except turning towards my felt sense of overwhelm and asking, “Why are you apart of my life experience? What diamond do you hold?”
Does any of this ring true for you? If it does, please know I am here with you. I’ve learned that this part of our journey isn’t about oversimplification and suggestions like “just increase your self-care.”
There is some fundamental shift that is being invited to happen. There are hard questions and good questions to hold (for days, weeks, or years) about where you belong, how you thrive, what you are called to do moving forward, and the courageous conversations you may be inspired to start and continue having at work, in your families, and among circles of friends.
Within the difficulty, I’ve found (as have so many of my clients) that there is something breaking open. Something subtle, quiet and undoubtedly powerful being born.
Those years at Tundra Women’s Coalition, I often asked myself, “Will it ever end?” Will the way I feel so displaced in my body ever change? Will I ever stop feeling everyone else’s “stuff?” Will I ever feel that my sensitive nature is more than a curse? I had no idea what I would get to learn on the journey to answer these questions.
Now, all these years later, I would not change or wish away this experience in my body. It’s what makes me know I am home.
Follow-up Resources
- Am I Highly Sensitive? (PDF download)
- Dr. Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person
- David Markowitz’s book, Empathipedia
- Sensitive: The Untold Story (documentary)
- Leah’s 3-month coaching program (online, or local), consultations, classes, and weekly community newsletter
About the author:
Leah Walsh is a life coach, speaker, and writer. She serves conscious and creative humans, many of whom identify as being highly sensitive or empathic. These are quiet & powerful leaders who want to be seen and heard but struggle with overwhelm, self-doubt, and a lack of clarity on how to create their ideal lifestyle. Leah created Positively Sensitive, a 3-month 1:1 coaching experience in order to support those like her to understand their gifts so they can ground their confidence, awaken their unique impact, and live fully expressed.
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