Last updated on March 15, 2019

(warning: minor movie spoiler alert)

As a working mom physician with a husband who is a stay at home dad, I was intrigued by the opening premise of the movie The Incredibles 2. Helen (Elastigirl) is tapped to return to work as a Superhero over her husband, Bob (Mr. Incredible).

I looked forward to seeing some heartwarming yet funny insights that I was sure the clever writers at Disney/Pixar would deliver, especially with the movie premiering on Father’s Day weekend.

Instead, I was disappointed to mostly see outdated and stale stereotypes of working moms and stay at home dads recycled on the animated screen.

Here are 2 moments that rang true for working moms, along with 3 things they definitely got wrong about stay at home dads, and 1 major missed opportunity.

2 scenes that rang true for working moms:

1.  Taking a phone call from your kid (that he/she feels only Mom can handle) while in a crisis at work, and immediately switching to ‘Mom’ mode no matter what is happening around you at work.  Except nowadays it’s a text of course.
2. Missing ‘firsts.’  First moments that is.  Helen isn’t there when her teen daughter has a lousy first date, and she isn’t around when her youngest exhibits his first superpowers.  Never-mind that she’s out saving lives.  It’s hard to miss your kids’ milestones, no matter what.

3 things they got wrong about stay at home dads.

And the worst part about the things they got wrong–they resorted to outdated cliches and stereotypes “Uh-oh-what-will-happen-if-poor-bumbling-Dad-is-left-all-alone-with-the kids.  However-will-he-manage?”

1.  Bob is just so worn out by the trials and tribulations of watching the kids, that he falls asleep instead of watching the baby. Okay writers, here’s a clue:  nobody would have believed the plot if the mom fell asleep knowing if she didn’t stay awake the baby could get into danger.  And nobody should believe it about the dad character either.  No matter how tired he was, he would have stayed awake.  His baby’s safety depended on it.  Duh.
2. The “Mr. Mom” stereotype of the unshaven, sleep-deprived, near-comatose dad.  Dear Disney/Pixar writers:  “Mr. Mom” was portrayed that way by Michael Keaton in 1983.  1983.  As in 35 years ago.  You couldn’t have come up with something more clever? (not to mention realistic).  Has society made no progress in the past 35 years?
3. Bob is embittered and jealous of Helen’s success.  Need I point out the problem with portraying the dad character in this way?  This is a movie that many, many kids will see.  Why would the writers resort to such a shallow and inaccurate stereotype?  (This scene especially seemed unnecessary in the context of other scenes that do show Bob wanting Helen to succeed.  Why then was a scene that showed him angry and jealous while watching Helen on the news even included?  Character growth?  I think the clever writers could have come up with a better way).

And lastly, one missed opportunity that made my jaw drop (not in a good way).

A younger female superhero who is quite obviously awestruck by Elastigirl works up the nerve to ask her a question — how does she do it?  How does she balance work and home?  Elastigirl not only ignores the question, she pushes the young woman out of her way.  I guess we aren’t supposed to care because the next scene shows her having a lightbulb moment about the villain.

I kept waiting for the resolution to that scene, thinking that surely by the end of the movie the writers would come back around to it, why else would they have planted it?  Helen would come to some realization and share some nugget of wisdom with her young would-be protege, (and thus sage advice for the young audience) but nope, never happened.  Younger woman asks more senior woman (mentor) for career/life advice and the mentor literally pushes the younger woman out of her way.  Not okay, Disney/Pixar.  Not okay.  That’s not how we do it.

I feel that the writers missed this opportunity, and many others in the movie, to portray the dynamics of a family with a working mom and a stay at home dad with more relevance, insight, and positive spin for kids, without losing any of the comedy.  I guess we’ll have to wait another 35 years to see if that can be done.

In the meantime, I’d like to share a Happy Father’s Day to all the incredible dad’s out there.

And according to The National At-Home Dad Network, at least 1.4 million of you are stay at home dad’s.

No matter the label we put on ourselves, moms or dads, “breadwinner” or “stay-at-home” parent, there is one line the movie got right,

Done properly, parenting is a heroic act.

(said by the character Edna).